Advice for how to be in a polyamorous relationship

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Lots of do’s and don’ts in polyamorous couples

polyamorous relationship advice

Have you thought about trying a different dating relationship? If you have tried monogamous arrangements before but still want or need the flexibility to love more than one individual, then this advice might help. You should be emotionally aware of your needs, have time and love to share with new partners, and practice tolerance and acceptance. If you get jealous often, this lifestyle won’t fit your needs.

We need to explain the workings of polyamory. There are many stereotypes that people have from the outside about these relationships. Let’s consider a few reasons you don’t want to enter this kind of arrangement without fixing yourself first:

  • You got into this situation to satisfy a primary partner whom you really love, and you don’t want to lose him or her. That’s no good because he or she is not really caring about your needs.
  • You are not a monogamous person, and you want to have an open relationship so you can take lovers on the side. This can work, but you will also have to accept your partner’s other partners as well. You must be really clear about your emotional needs and be able to meet them independently while sharing your partners with other people.
  • You are insecure about yourself, but you are open to having an emotional connection with any man or woman who wants a relationship. This is because you are afraid of being alone or have anxiety about dating. You won’t hold out for the right relationship because you can’t. So, you get involved with the wrong people. That’s no good either because it can set you up for emotional abuse or neglect or, at the very least, some forms of manipulation.
  • You aren’t clear about your sexual identity. You might be straight, gay, bi, or pansexual. Still, you haven’t explored enough relationships or sexual encounters to fully understand your orientation. Being involved with multiple partners doesn’t necessarily help you understand yourself better.

What is a polyamorous relationship?

A polyamorous relationship is when three or more people are emotionally involved. They may not all be involved with one another, but they know each other and have clear boundaries among all partners. What’s more, each partner knows he or she should not start an outside relationship in which the new person expects monogamy. There are many instances where jealousy and feeling emotionally closed off from a partner can happen. The more people in a relationship, the greater the potential for drama and hurt feelings. With multiple partners in a relationship, everyone must agree on the ground rules and respect each other. If all partners have high emotional intelligence and keep to the rules, then the arrangement can work. Whenever one partner is not getting his or her emotional needs met for a period of time, the arrangement can be weakened or broken.

Do polyamorous relationships last?

These relationships can last if the partners all know how to meet their emotional needs, keep to the boundaries and rules, and respect each other. For example, you might take a lover outside the relationship. However, you are still honest about it and let your polyamorous partners know. If you are having sex, you’re always taking precautions. Everyone is getting regularly screened for STDs. These measures are designed to keep everyone safe. If you are dishonest, you break the trust in the relationship. If you think another member is being dishonest, then it’s hard to continue trusting him or her as well. All members of the relationship should be confronting instances where a member breaks the rules.

What’s it like to be in a polyamorous relationship?

From the outside, this type of relationship can work for independent-minded people who don’t need the security of a monogamous relationship. It takes a lot of energy and commitment to make one relationship work. Meeting the needs of multiple people can mean having your energy drained by so much drama. If this is easy for you, then you can stick it out. If you need the full-time attention and love of one partner, then it won’t work for you.

How common are polyamorous relationships?

It is normal for people to avoid labels of what their love resembles in the straight, swinger, polyamory, and LBGTQ worlds. There are adults who do not define their gender or sexual orientation to meet the needs of others. Therefore, there is fluidity in this world. You can be in love with more than one person in this relationship, not just have extra sex partners.

Can a monogamous person become polyamorous?

Anyone can enter this dating world, but you must be emotionally independent. You will not have your needs met by one partner. You can’t expect your partner to not have other emotional connections just to make you feel happy and secure.

What does poly mean in LGBT?

This term refers to all the members in the arrangement consenting to the non-monogamous relationship. All members have a responsibility for protecting the health and safety of other members. That’s why practicing safe sex and maintaining appropriate boundaries is important. For example, don’t introduce a new member to the group who is jealous and threatens the physical safety of the other partners. Everyone must have enough maturity and emotional stability to handle this arrangement. Because this is an umbrella term for connections with multiple partners, the polyamorous situation receives many undeserved stereotypes that aren’t true of people who routinely have these non-monogamous affairs. You can love and care for two or more people and enjoy the benefits of marriage, but it’s different than having one partner. You can’t be expected to equally support every person in this way of living. There is just not enough time in the day.

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