Here’s what to message a man following a hookup
When you’re new to online dating, it can seem like forever until someone answers your messages. Start with a wide search, talk to new guys, enjoy the conversations, and narrow them down to whom you meet. Each guy wants his preferred type of relationship. When using a dating site that includes everything from serious daters to casual daters (i.e., hookups), be clear about your intentions. Don’t lead him on or push him into something he doesn’t want. Once you find someone who wants to meet, things heat up quickly. If you have sex, then you wonder what to text a guy after a one night stand, especially if you want more.
How to Handle a Gay Hookup
After an intense conversation going on a dating app, learn how to ask a guy to hook up over text. For example, you can say, “Hey, it’s fun talking to you. Interested in meeting and exploring the chemistry, if any?” Or, find a common activity and suggest that you meet to do it in person. See if the sparks fly and suggest a steamy meeting when the time is right. When you want a hookup, there is the potential for rejection, but that’s inherent in every type of dating match. It takes confidence to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is that he says no, and then you find another guy for adult fun.
Get Serious About Flirting
When you create a gay dating profile, you have options. Add items to your profile to tell a story. Choose the best pics and the best details about your lifestyle. Don’t share anything you don’t want your boss or family to know. The more thought you put into it, the easier it is for gay men to identify conversation topics on your profile. Guys need a starting point for conversation. Read the profiles of guys you will flirt with online. You might find a male who is a top or bottom. This designation will affect whether you are a good match.
Messaging a dude from an app goes a little differently. Many guys prefer texting. A smaller percentage will talk on the phone. Some will video chat or Snapchat. They learn more about you and flirt with you more than they like sending emails or texts. With a hot connection, the first meeting could be a hookup. Since everything happens fast, plan for what to say the next day.
After the Hookup Etiquette: If He Texts You First
When you meet a nice man, you might have great sex and want a repeat. A gay or bisexual man makes himself vulnerable by engaging in sex. If he texts first the next day, keep these points in mind:
- Respond as soon as you can. Make the guy feel like he matters as a person. If you wait too long, then he feels like he is getting blown off.
- Be polite. There might be a few things you didn’t like, but always use positive language and exclamation points. He’s just as vulnerable as you are.
- Don’t use passive-aggressive comments like “Okay “or “We’ll see.” These statements can frustrate your gay hookup partner because you aren’t actually agreeing or offering an opinion on what he said. Also, he could assume that you are only messaging him out of courtesy with this kind of talk.
- Don’t start typing and then leave him hanging - which is common when using texting apps and iPhones.
Handling the Morning After on the Offensive
First, reflect on how you felt during and after the event. For example, you felt a mild attraction and really enjoyed the sex. Or, you might have been intensely attracted and connected emotionally as well. There are other possibilities. What you don’t know is what he thought of the experience and if there is potential for more hookups or an attachment. Approach this dilemma of what to do the next day with care.
Making the First Move
Don’t seem overly interested or indifferent. Say something positive and leave the possibility for him to encourage future interactions. However, don’t reveal that you want to hook up again or date him. Keep it on the friendship level, maintain communication, and see if he wants another date. He might hesitate about what to text a guy the morning after like you because he is playing it cool too. Wait until the next afternoon or evening to send a message; it shows interest but not rushing this contact. How long to wait to text a guy could be 1 to 3 days. If you wait any longer than 3 days, it just seems like you were too casual, which means very detached from the entire experience. That level of inattention may turn many guys off even though the sex was satisfactory. How long should you wait to text a guy back should not make you feel uncomfortable on the receiving end of the text.
How to ask a guy to hook up again
Men seek companionship and pleasure on a hookup app, but they aren’t ready for a serious relationship. They aren’t considering marriage or cohabitation. With so many risks for singles in the dating pool, including sexually transmitted diseases and rejection, take your time to find a hookup. When you enjoy it, wait a few days and suggest a convenient time to play again. If he doesn’t respond, then move on to other flirty conversations.